A Tramp in the (Organic) Garden

Seeds, Smack Talk and Assorted Gardening Madness in South Pasadena, Los Angeles

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Crickets are God's Form of Payback

In case you are wondering, crickets in the bedroom, cheerping in the middle of the night are God's way of punishing your for forgetting to pay an eBay vendor with any sort of timeliness. For the past 2 night there has been a lovesick cricket in our bedroom- criiii, criiiiiii- that only starts chirping when you are asleep. Criiiiii, criiiiiiii. The wings grate together even more up close. Criiiiiii. I've been too sleepy, and kind of too creeped out to get up and look for him. But yet, I've also been scared-criiiiiiiiiiiii- that he will jump on my feet and eat me or find his way into the covers and turn me into some sort of cricket snack. Criiii, criii. I think this specific form of punitive torture must be sent from God, who is clearly punishing me somehow for forgetting to pay for those 2 antique seed packs I bid for and won on eBay 3 weeks ago. Clearly, it is so.

I'm just saying. I'm no conspiracy theorist-- but I didn't just fall off the turnip truck either. Mama knows what's going on. Criiiiiiiiiiii.

Update: The good news is, later this evening I escorted a very tired, hungry, horny, thirsty cricket outside into the night. No crickets were harmed in the making of this blog post.


At 17 August, 2006 04:55, Blogger steven said...

You can always get a House Gecko to eat the crickets, but then House Geckoes make a sort of barking noise at night so you'll have to get a snake to eat the gecko...you know where this is going right?

At 17 August, 2006 11:17, Blogger Loretta said...

Will they grow in California? Yes, I see how this plan works...a snake to eat the Gecko, and then a wild boar to eat the snake, then a tiger to eat the wild boar. I like how this sounds......hmmmmm.

At 17 August, 2006 16:33, Blogger Bomb Bay said...

Indians love cricket

At 17 August, 2006 19:21, Blogger steven said...

I'm sure a house gecko would do okay in L.A.

Wild boars you could get down in the desert and then you could get the tiger that mauled Roy. I think the only thing a tiger fears is a rhino or an elephant... could get crowded around there.

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